How A Trip To Moab Showed Me What's Important

We were headed to Antelope Point RV Park right on Lake Powell, in sunny Arizona. Or so I thought. 

It was a five-hour drive from where we were just outside of Albuquerque to Lake Powell, and we had just passed the halfway mark. I was happy because we had left early enough to do something in the afternoon when we arrived. That's always nice after a long day.

Guess what else we were approaching at the halfway point of our drive? The turn-off to go north instead of west towards our planned destination. 

What was north? Moab was north. My wife asked me if I wanted to go north instead of west. I naturally said, "we are booked for Lake Powell and the next two RV parks after that. I don't know if we can get a refund, when will we go back, what about the plan?" She agreed but asked again. "Do you want to go to Moab?" 

At this point, I started to feel overwhelmed, but that's kinda what this trip is all about. Remaining flexible, taking the turns as they come, and doing whatever we want. I kept thinking about our plan and reservations, and all the stuff we had been talking about for the past two weeks. Regardless, I wanted to see Moab so I said OK. 

As soon as I said OK I knew I was going to go through my normal array of thoughts and feelings when plans change for me. To be honest, I started realizing that this happens a lot more in my life than I realized. This trip has really highlighted that for me because I'm in so many more changing situations. In Florida, I had such a steady life, reliable work, consistent family and friends, etc... Change happened infrequently. So it didn't seem like I was that rigid because there weren't as many opportunities to see it. For the record, my wife and friends would definitely disagree and say they told me plenty of times that I was like this. Haha!! (sorry guys)

So, my wife called Antelope Point RV Park to cancel. That stressed me because it made more sense to me to call a Moab RV park and make sure we could get in first. She found out there were a few places in Moab we could stay, so she called to cancel Antelope Point. Do you think my anxiety decreased? Nope, my anxiety went up at the thought that we were now in limbo without a place to go. Shane, breathe. 

At the same time I had a competing thought that said, "Shane, we live in a home on wheels!" Right, we can't really ever be in limbo as we can sleep, eat, and everything else right where we are. I remembered thinking, wow, why is my mind trained to go to thoughts of concern first, or for that matter, at all? 

After about an hour of heading north, I realized it had gotten very remote and we still didn't have a park booked. When I say remote, other than the few cars on the road, we hadn't seen a building in 2-3 hours. We were somewhere near southwest Colorado or southeast Utah. I saw a sign that said protected and sacred Navajo Land. We drove for hours through Navajo Nation and Reserve. 

I kept thinking, how do they get medical care or support here if something goes wrong? Well, there it was again. My anxiety increased because now I was thinking that we are far away from help. Again, I asked myself why is my mind saying this, instead of, what a beautifully remote and simple place this is? What a special thing that the Indians don't want to build these large obstructions on their land because the land is the prized possession.  

Can't my brain just shut off? I am beginning to feel exactly how I felt in Colorado. If you read that blog you know I ended up having a full-blown panic attack. I remember thinking I know what this feels like. I know what happens next, so I know how to curb it. I remember thinking I was going to have another panic attack, except this time I would know it was happening and I'd be OK. 

Well, truth is, the next thought that came into my mind is what actually curbed the attack. I knew that my wife couldn't drive the RV, and we have to keep going so I can't have a panic attack or else she won't be OK - she needs me. What do you know? When I started thinking about her and what it would mean for her right now, I started to feel better. 

My anxiety was pulling me out into a future "what if" place. Panic attacks thrive in the future. The key is to get yourself back to the here and now. Even though the thought wasn't exactly positive, it was current. I felt like I was learning. I haven't had panic attacks in years. I knew I was having them because I was pushing new boundaries, but I had somewhat forgotten how to handle them. Go back to the here and now I reminded myself.

I also think it's important to remind yourself that all you have to do is survive the panic attack. No one has ever died from one, but almost everyone who gets "through it" is better on the other side.

We kept driving and I felt like I won. I felt better prepared for the next time. In that moment I knew I would be able to push myself a little bit further when we got to Moab because I had just proven to myself that I would be OK and could keep going. That's what "beating" anxiety and panic attacks is all about. Not being held back and being able to keep going forward. 

If you're reading this blog today and don't feel OK. Please know that it will pass. Trust yourself and know that whatever is causing your feelings will pass. Could be seconds, could be minutes, could be hours, or days. But it WILL pass. Don't allow yourself to miss out on life because of what might happen in the future. Surround yourself with good people, make healthy choices, and above all, keep going.

We went around a corner and I immediately knew why everyone had stars in their eyes whenever talking about Moab. We descended almost 1,500ft into massive canyons that were deep red, brown, yellow, and blue in color. They were jagged, blemished, worn, brute, and rough. Yet somehow they were perfect. It was as if giants were real and this is where they lived in a past life. Truth is, giants did exist. In the form of mother nature and her tremendously powerful monsoons. 

The power of rain in Moab is nothing to joke about. A week before we arrived they had a 100-year flood. I didn't know it at the time, but when we drove into town there was sand all over the roads as a result. It was actually due to the inch of rain that had been dropped in less than 20 minutes. A total of one and a half inches fell in less than two hours, and the local creek rose by 7.4 feet and then was a total of 10 feet higher by the end. No wonder they were underwater!

In the local paper, there was a picture of an old Jaguar being washed down the road, that's how strong the current of rain was washing through town. I would learn later from my mountain bike instructor that the canyon peaks turned into waterfalls as a result of how much rain was coming down. Wild, and something that would have been pretty amazing to experience. So how about that, I was excited to go through a 100-year monsoon but scared to death to drive on well-paved highways to get there.

After learning about the monsoon and seeing photos I knew exactly how these canyons were created over millions of years and that felt pretty cool to be a part of. 

We spent 8 days in Moab. We got to go hiking all over Arches and Canyonlands National Parks, and we drove through Dead Horse State Park. We got to go zip lining with Raven's Rim Zip Lining Adventure and HIGHLY recommend them. Zip lining above slick rock canyons and being able to see Arches National Park simultaneously was an experience we won't soon forget. I got to mountain bike for the first time and I am hooked. I know starting off in Moab was probably a bad idea, but I can't wait to get a bike of my own and see other places.

We'll cherish the time we got to spend in Moab and have added it to our list of must-see places before you die. There is something about it that is different from other beautiful places. Maybe it's the fact that where we were traversing would have been underwater 200 million years ago!

Go on adventures, take care of yourself, and don't wait for the time to be right. You never know when you'll be out of time.

Your Friend, 

The Brazen Traveler